are you on our polaroid wall?

AS SEEN ON TV!!!

Ever seen those screensavers that make your computer screen look like a fishtank? Oh, how I love them. I reckon they're pure genius. A clever, witty social commentary on society and all its ills and  fragile beauty. Not only that, but they look pretty.

So, here at The Debaser Institute, our team of highly trained, white coated professionals have developed, in conjunction with a group of industry leaders and venture capitalists, a new, improved fish tank screensaver. It doesn't move, our budget didn't run that deep, (how do you like that pun? I could get a job at the Daily Tele) but you can have it for FREE. Yep, you heard right. For nada, zip, zilcho... all yours! Just click on it and drag it to your computer and you can amaze your friends and family. Oh, how I could look at those pretty fish all day long.

Why hasn't our music video career ever taken off?

I am allowed to laugh at how bad this video is because I am one of the clowns responsible for it.

You, however, are not.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ueh_OjukjZQ

Airplants (& other conversations I don't remember)

I went to a wedding on the weekend and I drank too much. Despite being old enough to know better, I then went to a party afterwards where I drank too much on top of the first too much. No big deal right? On Monday, I get a group email from one of my friends telling us all that she was right about the airplants. What fucking airplants? I don't even know what airplants are. Why the hell is she sending me a link to airplant.com? Well, it turns out, that at the party, I was part of a long conversation about these ridiculous things but I have absolutely no recollection of ever discussing them. Stupid, stupid ugly airplants. Remember kids, getting drunk is not clever and it's very, very dangerous.

You could end up talking about airplants. 

No more technology please.

I've got enough technology. It's handy and all, but if the world goes any faster I'm going to get a headache.

I have 80 gigs of music on my ipod, I just don't remember what most of it is.

My G5 is pretty quick, it flies through most of the huge photoshop files I make, and comes with a widget that tells me when to change my socks.

My macbook Pro is pretty damn cool too, it does everything it's supposed to do. 

My phone lets me phone people and it tells me the time.

Everything I need is here already, so why do they keep making new ones?

Heres my idea - I reckon it's fucking genius.

We pick a day at random, let's say the Wednesday after next. Once that day comes along, that's enough, no more inventing please.

Having said that, maybe we should wait until the new iphone comes out, but definately the day after that.

I love my neighbourhood.

FOR LEASE:

Charming, rustic style terrace in 'eclectic' part of town.

Notebooks

At school, I was always getting in trouble 

for scribbling in my textbooks.

Not much has changed.